Is it love or is it green beans? Green beans are my least favorite food, in fact I have a very specific memory with my father in which I was willing to take his wrath versus eating green beans. As a kid it was anything cooked and green but green beans took it to a whole new level of yuck for me, which is why I chose it as my Love comparison. Pretty much no one says they love green beans, you might not hate them like me, but very unlikely if you were picking your “last meal” it would not be green beans. Mine would be chocolate chip cookies and vanilla ice cream…yours is likely similar maybe pizza, maybe steak or tiramisu but not green beans. As I sit here typing this and eating my bowl of cooked green stuff (that does NOT include green beans) I ask myself, why? I like my cooked green stuff now, but if tonight was my last meal this would not be the choice…so why then? Because it is not…my last meal, and I want to do what is good for me so that tomorrow I will be better than the day before, stronger healthier than the day before, or at least not worse. What does this really have to do with Love anyway this sounds a lot like a health lecture…Relationship love and food love are quite similar. We often want what feels good, tastes good, makes us happy right now…not really what is good for us long term. True love, true healthy choices don’t usually have desire and longing attached to them. Chances are you are not sitting here fantasizing about your parents or your siblings especially is they have been good at putting you in check throughout your life…that is love. It’s the doing the right thing because it is right not because it feels good all the time. It is a verb, and action, that we attribute “feelings “too that are often inaccurate. If you are craving something or someone that is not love that is desire or addiction and while may feel good now, it is fleeting. Now I am not saying avoid all good feelings in emotional relationships but to step outside you, and look back at the person and say “is this good for me” if you were your child, would you feed yourself this? Bad habits are bad habits, and if you get one, you often pick up more. If you want to break the cycle start by deciding if what you are doing (eating, drinking, dating, friends even hobbies) is it addiction, desire aka love or is it green beans. Hopefully you go for the green beans or at least something cooked and green 😉